Monday, June 22, 2009

Not Black and White, it's Gray

So, this is my first blog posting. I'm a writer. I should say I am a writer and wanna be author.

Are there sometimes where you wonder why you are so drawn to writing? I do. I believe I have lost my mind. I know now why it took me so long to realize I loved it so much. I mean, I majored in English Writing in college but didn't do anything with it for over ten years. I blame having children and getting older with a lack of stamina to stay away from it. It certainly isn't the easiest endeavor. File clerk, that's easy. And, sometimes, I think I want just that. An easy job that requires little thought and offers accomplishment. Even small accomplishment.

Writing seems to me to be a lot like raising children. Very rarely do you feel that you've done something wonderful. There's frustration every day. Confusion always. Did you make the right decision? Did you give your daughter the best advice? With writing, you wonder if you should have taken your character to the right? No, to the left? Maybe neither. Maybe your character needs to go straight and wait for the next opportunity to make a decision that guides his path towards the conclusion. Oh man, there are sooo many options.

But I guess that's exactly the point? Just like with my kids, there isn't always a right or wrong answer with my characters. There are many right answers and usually only a couple wrong ones. And, my choices make my kids unique. I hope! And so I'm thinking that's how it is with writing. Your character may take ten left turns and mine may go straight until the end. Both will hopefully be wonderful stories. And, both will be our own.

But, back to the frustration and our choice to be writers. On those days where receptionist seems a nice career alternative, I immediately realize, I can't give up on this writing thing. Can't isn't quite the right word. More like, unable to give up on it. Even when I get frustrated, my mind keeps working through the kinks. Maybe there will come a time when I don't care anymore but I can't see it in my near future. I enjoy it too much.

And, there are days where I can't seem to "get" to it. Two kids and all the other things on my list to do keep me from my schedule (I say this as if I have a schedule). It's probably the same for so many of us. But, when I do get to it, and on those days where my story just comes out on paper, it's exhilarating. And, I'm HOOKED!

Is it like this for you??

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jenn! This post was truly inspirational! Isn't this true for everyone? The courage to realize your dreams. . .the conviction to continue when all rational thought tells you to stop!
    Thank you for posting this! You're an amazing writer. . .and soon-to-be author!